A Season of Slowing Down- (with Brooke Maher)

By Avery Raimondo

The softball field has always been a place where Brooke Maher knows exactly who she is. But after tearing her ACL and watching her season come to an end, Maher has had to step away from the game. This injury has shaped her life so much, and she has been able to learn who she is when she is no longer defined by a sport, a position, or a performance.

For a student athlete, a season ending injury can take away more than just a season. It changes routines, relationships, and a sense of identity. As Maher works through all the physical and mental challenges of ACL recovery, she is also learning how to find parts of herself that go beyond softball. 

Brooke Maher is used to being on the move. In athletics there was always somewhere to be, something to work toward, and another goal to reach.

Softball is more than just a sport for Maher. Like many athletes, it has been a big part of her identity and how she sees herself.

Then, in one moment, that perspective changed.

Maher tore her ACL, ending her season and making her step away from the sport she has spent years working on.

“When I first found out I tore my ACL and my season was over, I was truly devastated,” Maher said. “At first, I was just in shock and didn’t want to believe that it had actually happened to me.”

For Maher, the injury meant more than losing a season. It meant losing a major part of her daily life, it made her question who she was without softball.

Before her injury, Maher described herself as a “go, go, go person.” Her life revolved around practicing, working out, traveling and playing games. When all of that was taken away, she had no choice but to slow down.

At first, that was one of the hardest parts for Maher. Eventually, though, Maher discovered parts of herself outside of softball.

“Having all of that taken away forced me to slow down,” Maher said. “Over time, I started realizing that there is so much more to me than the sport I play.”

Being away from softball allowed her to spend more time with family and friends, focus on her faith, and enjoy parts of her life that had sometimes been pushed aside while being a college athlete.                                                     

The injury taught her that her identity does not have to come from what she can do on a field.

“I still love softball and always will, but I’ve learned that my identity isn’t just being a softball player,” Maher said.

Maher’s athletic trainer, Tara McNeely, has seen and been a big part of the physical side of her recovery, but says the mental side can be difficult for athletes, specifically being able to separate their identity from their sport. 

McNeely says, “Depending on the athlete… it is very difficult because if they haven’t been injured before, they have never dealt with having their identity taken away.”

“Your identity shouldn’t be in what you do, but that is the culture right now,” said McNeely.

That lesson became especially important during Maher’s rehab; physical therapy was not always easy for her. 

Some days were repetitive and frustrating, especially when she felt like she was not coming back quick enough. Recovery forced her to become patient and learn to appreciate small improvements she was making.

For athletes having to deal with a long term injury, the feeling of not being able to do what they normally can is often one of the hardest parts of recovery. McNeely said, “I would say the feeling of helplessness, being helpless” is a big part to overcome during the recovery process.

“I also learned a lot about patience and celebrating the little wins because even the simplest things became huge milestones,” Maher said.

The physical part of her journey was only one piece of recovery. The mental side was often more difficult.

“The mental side has definitely been the hardest part,” Maher said.

McNeely said Maher has made progress on that side of her recovery, even though the process has not always been easy.

“There is a point in the healing process where you can start to do things but can’t do everything. It is very frustrating, but she is doing better now,” said McNeely. “She is in a good place right now, a normal place, a place where other athletes would be at her stage.”

Maher had to learn to trust her knee again and overcome the fear of returning to the field. She, like many other injured athletes, wondered if they would be as fast or confident as they were before, and if they would ever feel like the same player.

For McNeely, helping an athlete overcome that fear is part of the rehabilitation process. Rather than waiting until an athlete feels completely comfortable, she gradually exposes them to the situations that make them nervous.

“Through the rehab process I try to expose them to the situations that cause them the most fear,” said McNeely. “And as they go through those situations we stop and talk about what they are afraid of and I help to explain and show them they weren’t afraid of that before, so there is no need to be afraid of it now.”

As Maher is continuing to work through those situations, she gets closer and closer to returning to the field.

“Brooke, she is getting better, some situations she has overcome, but there will still be some she will have to face and address,” said McNeely.

At the same time, McNeely said Maher’s recovery has to continue at a pace that matches what her body is ready to handle. “She physically can’t do everything yet, so we can’t put her into situations she can’t do yet,” said McNeely.

Instead of focusing on what she could not control, Maher began focusing on the effort she could put into getting better.

“I knew I was the only one who was going to get myself better because no one could do my rehab for me,” Maher said.

Her family, trainers, physical therapists, coaches, teammates, and friends helped her through the process. Their support reminded her that she was not alone and that she was more than an injured athlete.

While every athlete responds to an injury differently, McNeely said previous experience can play a role in how difficult the process becomes.

“Depends on the athlete,” McNeely said when asked how difficult it is for athletes to be in this situation. “If they have been injured before or not plays the biggest role.”

Maher’s faith has also helped her accept that recovery cannot always happen on her timeline.

“I trust that God will bring me back to the field when the time is right,” she said.

When Maher eventually returns to softball, she does not just want to come back as the same athlete she was before. She wants to appreciate the sport more while remembering that it is only a little part of who she is.

“I’ve learned that things aren’t always going to go according to plan,” Maher said.

The injury has shown Maher that a setback does not have to define her as a person, but rather show her how to be patient, grateful, and how to keep going when progress seems to be difficult.

Most importantly, she has learned that she is more than an athlete.

When she finally returns to the field, Maher will bring more than her athletic ability with her. She will bring everything she learned while she was away from the game.

The injury took softball away from her for a season. But Maher was able to create a season of her own; a season of slowing down, to see who she really is when she is not defined by a sport, a position or a performance.