Of Pies and Parking

Florida’s Official Pie
Fierce debate broke out in the Florida House this week over… Pie!

Yes, I said pie.

The circular pastries, which have become synonymous with Southern dining, took over the State Congress forcing representatives to choose which cuisine would reign supreme! Pecan pie? Nah, too Georgia-ish. Although it would cater to the perception that Florida is a bit nutty. Strawberry pie? Nope, already claimed by several other states. I know! Sweet Poatoes! No? Hmmm…

Apparently the decision was an easy one for both the House and Senate because, with unanimous decisions, the following was passed and is expected to be added to the Florida Statutes:

Section 1. Section 15.052, Florida Statutes, is created to read:
15.052 Official state pie.–Key lime pie is designated as the official Florida state pie.

Great, now Key Lime pie can join the ranks of other obscure state symbols like the state shell (Horse Conch) or the state insect (Zebra Longwing Butterfly). Funny thing is, key limes are grown in Mexico! IMMIGRANT FRUIT!

The bill now goes to Governor Bush where he can either sign the Key Lime pie into law or throw it back in the faces of those representatives who apparently have nothing better to do than debate deserts. I wonder if there is a state appetizer… Onion rings? Crab cakes?

NOTE: If you are curious, our own Dr. Proctor voted “Nay” on this bill. Maybe he’s a pecan pie fan?

Creative Parking
We all know about the parking… (stay calm, use nice words) debacle here at Flagler and it didn’t get any better when construction on the new student center started. The dirt parking lot behind the library was roped off in neon orange plastic fencing and safety cones to reserve the valuable real estate for construction equipment and vehicles (Apparently they drive invisible cars). So, we must adapt and overcome by getting creative with our parking. I have a few suggestions:

• Park as close as you can to the vehicle next to you: I know cars come and go throughout the day and that this can make the spacing between vehicles seem random, but during the first parking session in the morning there should be NO HUGE GAPS in the line! Maybe it’s the conformists who can’t help but park perpendicular to the parking block. Or maybe the faculty and staff are a little overweight and need the space to get out of the car without slamming the door into the vehicle next to them. I don’t care if you have to pull a “Dukes of Hazzard” and climb out of the window… PARK CLOSER!
• Incremental stealing: To those pioneers pushing the parking envelope (Had to meet my alliteration quota) by brushing up next to a cone or sneaking on to the gravel one inch at a time… I salute you! Inch by inch we will reclaim what is rightfully ours!! FREEEEEEEDOOOOM!!
• Camouflage: Drive to work in a bulldozer or maybe a backhoe… No way they would stop you from parking in the construction area! Unless of course you don’t follow through with the details and dress in a suit and tie.
• Carpool: HAHAHA HAHAHAH HA hahaha… hehe… he…(SIGH)

Anyway, barring any more church funerals or new buildings on campus the situation seems to have leveled out for a while… At least until the students return.

Quote of the week:
Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.

Word of the week:
earjacking: Eavesdropping on a conversation that you have no business hearing.