Wanted: Assistant Sports Editor
By Devon Jeffreys
Next semester will be my fourth as Gargoyle Sports Editor and for the third time, I’ll be looking for an assistant.
For the last year, my assistant has been Melissa Bear, of Flagler volleyball fame. But Melissa is graduating and that leaves the spot underneath my name on page three empty. Melissa has been a great assistant and I wish her well as she moves on with her life after The Gargoyle. A L.A.G. period, if you will.
But for me, I don’t get much time to grieve, because I have to fill her shoes and that won’t be an easy task.
I thought about enlisting 12 professional dancers and having 12 candidates match up to see who was the best dancer, but I’m told that’s already been done.
I thought about putting a bunch of people on a deserted island and having them vote each other off until one remained and that one would be my new assistant, but time and financial constraints put the kabbash on that one.
Then I realized I had the perfect space for a free want ad. So here is a casting call to, well, you.
If you’re reading this, you probably have the No. 1 quality needed in my assistant. You like me, because otherwise, why read this?
The No. 2 quality needed in an assistant sports editor is a love for sports. I’d even settle for a like of sports. I might be able to get you in if you think sports are “cool.” I’ll see what I can do.
You don’t have to eat, sleep and breathe it like me, but if you avoid it like it’s the plague, and you’d rather plunge a pencil into your eye then watch a minute of “SportsCenter,” this probably isn’t the job for you.
You probably want to be a journalism, or in the very least, communication major to apply. I’ll send you out to report on tennis and basketball, so you had better know what a lead is or there’s a problem.
You’d probably be a better candidate if you’re younger. My assistant might one day be my replacement when I graduate ,so graduating seniors need not apply.
You also have to be willing to give up every third weekend of the semester to lay out the paper. But it’s fun, I promise. Don’t let advisor Brian Thompson scare you. He’s like a teddy bear once you get to know him.
To be honest, though, the experience I’ve gained in my time at The Gargoyle is bar none to anything I’ve ever done at Flagler and I’m not even talking about my journalism and reporting experience.
All of us here at The Gargoyle are like a dysfunctional, but extremely lovable family. I’m as close with these people as I am with friends I’ve known back home in New Jersey my entire life.
To be considered, you can send me an e-mail at email@example.com or come to our office on the third floor of the library and fill out an application.