My outrageously unrealistic predictions

Glenn Judah, Co-Editor

By Glenn Judah

Since this is the last issue of The Gargoyle for the year I thought I would look ahead to next year. This will be the completion of my third year at Flagler. So far all signs show I’m going to graduate in four years. How is everyone else doing? That’s good, or hey, don’t get discouraged (insert either answer that applies).

I’ve grown up a lot in these last three years and so has Flagler College. Just take a walk on campus and look around at all of the construction, but try not to get hit by a piece of falling debris from the art building restoration.

Next year will be a monumental step forward for Flagler College and monumental steps forward deserve outrageous and unrealistic predictions to be made without any factual knowledge. Here are my top four predictions for Flagler College, its students, staff and faculty in the coming year. Sadly, they will most likely not happen.

1. With all the purchases Flagler College has made this year to improve the campus and create more space, it’s surprising that Flagler has overlooked one building in particular that is set up specifically for educational purposes: The Oldest School House. I think it should be on the upcoming budget for Flagler College. It has to be.

First off it’s old, so that fits in with the theme of Flagler’s campus. Second off it’s historic, and as we all know, Flagler College likes history.

2. With rumors of the TV and Radio studio moving to one of the FEC buildings, what will come of the communication building on Cordova? Well, certain professors have petitioned the administration to turn it into a faculty lounge. I foresee in the future a lounge with nice leather sofas, a 50-inch flat screen TV and a built-in tiki bar.

So why not add a second floor and use it as a dance club for students to match the feel of the tiki bar for faculty and staff.

3. Molly’s will open next year in a new location, the Student Center. With its relocation what will happen to that space?
Well, I believe that Flagler College is working out an agreement with 7-Eleven. Or at least I hope so.

The 7-Eleven would be open 24 hours-a-day and not employ students, unlike Molly’s.

I predict a deal is close to being signed by Flagler College, but that there are some presidential concerns over the Slurpee flavors they would offer at this location. My prediction is Dr. Abare strongly wants Coke, Mountain-Dew, Cherry and Grape, and that 7-Eleven will play hardball by trying to replace Grape with Banana. Stick to your guns, Dr. Abare, I hate Banana too!

4. Flagler College has not yet decided the purposes of the FEC buildings. The three logical uses of the buildings are housing, classrooms and faculty offices. I have heard rumors from students that they would like a Chik-fil-A to be put in one of the buildings.

Student housing, classrooms, offices and Chik-fil-A are all nice and needed, but incredibly boring.

So I think only two of the buildings should be used for those purposes, and the first one should be used for a very special and exciting plan: The Henry Flagler Water Park!

The park will come with all the history of Henry Flagler we have come to know and love with the thrills and chills of a 100-foot water slide. The slide will be designed to look like one of the early railroads that helped make Flagler a pioneer. The slide’s tentative name is the “Historic Express.”

The slide will start at the top of building one and dive straight down with one loop then wrap around the building. That is not the only ride. “Rockafeller’s Rollercoaster” will intertwine with the “Historic Express” making loops and dives to thrill students and tourists alike.

I’m sure there is a lot to be worked out on the inside of the building, like where to put the lazy river and a shark exhibit.

After reading my predictions hopefully you are as excited as I am about the prospects of the new year. But don’t get your hopes up. These are just my outrageous and unrealistic predictions which will probably not come true. But who knows what could happen. You probably know more than me about what is to come in the following semesters.