Hey Heidi Klum, you play fantasy football like a girl!

So this season I got talked into joining a fantasy football league. No one seemed to be bothered by the fact that I could only name a handful of NFL players (all quarterbacks) or that I would rather comment on the teams’ uniforms (What is up with Miami’s color scheme anyway?) than their football skills.

Or maybe that’s exactly why I was asked to join. Who knows?

Regardless, I have a team full of players who I’ve never heard of before and I’m still not sure how our whole league point system is set up. Then there’s the whole business about how the draft worked in the first place. I still don’t know how I missed the draft, but I managed to snag Peyton Manning for my quarterback. And I know enough about football to know that he’s a pretty good pick. He’s gotten me 89 points so far. Not too shabby.

Other than that, I’m lost.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I did manage to figure out how to bench a player on a bye week and drop players who, for lack of a better term, suck.

Last night I dumped a defensive player who was not performing. I’m not sure who he was or who I picked up in his place, but at least the new guy had done some things worthy of scoring fantasy points in earlier games, which is more than I can say for the player I dropped.

But this week my team tied the other team I was playing. What is up with that? How did that happen when my QB outscored his 2-1? Oh, yeah I forgot. Our league is set up so you get like a zillion points for field goals. Yep, I said field goals. My whole team is based around a kicker.

Now I don’t claim to be a football expert, but isn’t the kicker’s ability to get the ball between the uprights totally dependent on how the offense plays. If they can’t get the ball in the end zone or at least near the end zone, the poor kicker doesn’t even have a chance to kick a field goal.

How do you pick a good kicker? If you have the best kicker on the planet, but he plays for a team with a horrific offense, you’ll never score. I don’t know nearly enough about football to know who has a good offense. And who the heck is John Kasay anyway? More importantly, what is up with Carolina’s logo? Did they not get the memo about that ugly 90s design being so last century?

I think I should just stick to the stuff I know. This fantasy football stuff is driving me crazy.

Anyone for fantasy Project Runway?