I realize that it has been a LONG while since I have posted anything of any sort. I find it sad to think that I no longer write like I used to for “fear” of offending people. I also have been so out of whack with writing, especially in the English language, that I also find myself a tad rusty and humorless.
As I sit here during this sleepless interlude of speakers pounding and Tylenol PM (which I am still waiting for it to kick in), I have been pondering my life lately. I have changed so much, but yet I am the same person. But am I really?
I have become crabby.
I no longer know what it is like to socialize with people in my own age group let alone older people because the only thing I know about is school and my own child. I don’t know what it is like to strike up a conversation about things outside of domestic and scholastic life.
I remember I stopped writing on Myspace because my sister Kerin subscribed to my blog and I didn’t know how to block her from some of my blogs. I mostly complained about her and her inability to function like a normal person in normal surroundings.
Then I would freak out if my other half saw some of the things that I wrote since one time he did get upset that I referred to him as a “provider.”
Anyhow, the above is not actually the point that I am trying to make. I was going to title this blog “The Lessons of In-Laws” but I didn’t want the title to attract too much attention to certain people, for even more “fear” that I would say something that I shouldn’t be divulging.
So, as a teacher, I get to have Winter Break off.
For me, it is assumed that I will enjoy two weeks off from the hectic hustle and bustle of high school life and relax. Perhaps I will even play and bond with my child. I will temporarily forget my students at Club Mandarin and enjoy sleeping in. I will have the house to my dear self during the day and enjoy the quiet. My other half and I will go to bed at the same time and get to sleep in together. It will be great!
Did that happen? (for my little everyday phrase) …. Yeah. Right.
On the Monday before Christmas, I expected to sleep in and enjoy the house to myself. Instead I spent it with a loudmouthed 10 year old that is SOOOOOO loud that I have to tell him to be a little quieter for fear the neighbors will call the cops due to his raucous laughter. This 10 year old I refer to is my other half’s youngest cousin. According to the 10 year old, our house is fun because we have all the toys anybody that hasn’t grown up (read: my other half) would want! We also have an amazing baker (yours truly) and a fun little baby that can be played with whenever and wherever. For my Christmas break, I had no respite. It was awful, aside from the fact that I slept in some days, which was nice.
Here is where I am divided.
I like my extended in-laws. They’re very nice people and I, in fact, have become very good friends with the 10 year old’s older sister.
Here’s my beef, among other things.
There is ABSOLUTELY NO privacy. No quiet. and I really can’t think of much else except that it’s incredibly rude to show up unannounced and especially uninvited.
Just because you’re family does not mean that you can come over whenever you feel like it, crash on my couch and eat all of my hard-earned food. Money is tight, but these kids don’t seem to think so. They are PLAGUE EATERS!!!!
Once, I.A., his brother D and I ordered 30 chicken wings and pan of pasta from Pizza Hut because we didn’t feel like cooking that day. M comes over and asks oh so nicely, “Um, Renny, can I have some?”
Of course, thinking that he would eat maybe four or five, told him sure.
The child ate half that pan of pasta and 20 chicken wings, leaving the rest to divide among three ravenous adults. I was mad, but D was even more upset, since he’s a poor college student and had paid for it. Ever since then, when we have dinner for family, we serve everyone and also make limited quantities so as not to have the option available. (It backfired today though. I made a pumpkin cake and of course, it was devoured within minutes. J didn’t even ask if he could have another – he told his dad not to get involved and grabbed another slice. His dad was furious!!!)
Also, my other half is from a family of boy cousins. Out of all the 12 or so odd cousins, there are only three girls, one being my sister-in-law, who is an awesome person.
So the other boy cousin, J, comes over a lot. Whenever he comes over, he drinks our refreshment drinks, immediately turns on the T.V. and plops himself in front of the computer and checks Myspace – and who knows what else – on that computer for hours. He has never ONCE asked for permission to turn on the T.V. or use the computer. The reason why I have a problem with this is because my son’s bedroom is on the other side of these appliances. If my son is sleeping, he’ll wake up. And guess who gets to put him back to sleep? Mommy! How exciting!
With Latin/Hispanic families, people generally shout to talk to one another. My father and uncle do it with one another and it drives me nuts. So guess what?! My in-laws do it too! (Big surprise! Whoopee!).
My actual in-laws are in town for two weeks as well right now. My mother-in-law and her sisters must be hard of hearing because they shout to each other while talking. We have wood flooring, so of course the sound bounces all over the place. I’ve also tried to explain to the Extendeds to please call or otherwise enter the house quietly because half of the time, my child is trying to take a nap to recoup for the amount of sleep he did not get because, guess what again? The Plague Eaters were over and making tons of noise and gobbling up our food and making royal messes!
I think when my in-laws leave, I’m going to have to stop being so Push Over Polite and be direct like I normally am with my students. I’ll have to explain that there are rules for coming over and being disruptive.
Today, I assumed people would be coming over at 5 p.m. (or in Latin time, at 7 or 8) for dinner. Everyone showed up two hours earlier just as I had put the baby down for a nap. I had wanted him to be energized for the party. Instead (thankfully) he slept right through it. However, there have been other times I put him down, and someone goes to get him without asking me if it’s OK.
I’ve been trying to establish a routine for my son and myself, and I’m slowly and surely getting super irritated that I can’t do it because people have to come over so often. The only person I want to see every day is my child. And his dad too.
There is no consideration. I had to explain to 10-year-old M that sometimes when he comes over, he has just disrupted a possible romantic night alone between his cousin and I, which are few and far between once you have a child.
Of course, he doesn’t get it.