Flagler needs to realize its students aren’t kids
By Ant Perrucci | gargoyle@flagler.edu
The time has come for Flagler College to re-think its policies on dorm life.
More to the point, the time has come and gone. It was called the 1960s.
Despite the college’s rules, the outside world has tested the practicality and feasibility of men and women in close quarters, and the outside world has realized that it’s really not a big deal.
Flagler’s dorm rules are archaic and needlessly repressive. To explicitly forbid male and female students to enter each other’s living spaces is to treat adult men and women like children.
College students, nearly all of whom are over the age of 18, are old enough to decide who their friends are and how they want to spend time with them.
So much of college life takes place outside of the classroom that to limit male-female interaction borders on the tyrannical. If Joe and Susan want to study in their dorms instead of the often-closed library, or sit around talking and playing video games to unwind after a test, it’s no business of the college’s.
Flagler has stood firm on its position that young men and women simply can’t be trusted around one another without supervision. But we are already voting with our feet, moving out of the dorms at first chance into apartments in nearby Lincolnville. And those of us that move in with members of the opposite sex aren’t worse off for the experience. In fact, the opposite is true.
Living with a member of the opposite sex is an invaluable learning experience. A male student whose only experience living with a woman is his mother or sister ought to find out what it’s like when he can’t take a shower because the bathroom’s in use. A young woman should get used to dealing with dirty living rooms and dishes piling up in the sink.
At some point, many of us are going to get married. These issues are going to pop up. Think of it as a free lesson in how to deal with the opposite sex.
Flagler’s dorm policies are clearly in place to prevent students from having sex. But it’s none of the college’s business what its students do behind closed doors. We may be students, but we’re consenting adults.
Flagler’s insistence on treating us like we can’t be trusted is giving us a bad name. We’re not asking to live together in the dorms. The dorms are the college’s property, and it’s their call.
All we want is to hang out with friends in our own space. Not all of us have the money to pay rent. It brings no harm to anyone to allow us to spend time with one another.
Flagler needs to change its mind and its policies and start treating us like grown-ups.
Completely agree. Flagler’s stance on dorm life is small minded and rudimentary. I sincerely hope they change this aspect of the school rules so I am not butt-raped.
Completely agree. Flagler’s stance on dorm life is small minded and rudimentary. It was one of the reasons I almost decided against attending. I sincerely hope they change this so I don’t get butt raped.
[...] the dry moat. I made out with someone in that moat. I just like telling that story. (Hey, there was no-interdorm visitation). Anyway, I wrote many poems and journal entries sitting on that stone wall, my feet dangling over [...]
The author of this article needs to get with real life and that the world does not revolve around him. Firstly, institutions do not need to conform to the individual, the individual needs to conform to the institution. Secondly, there are thousands of colleges or universities he could have chosen to attend that offer the same degree programs. The rules were there when he demonstrated interest, applied, and accepted their invitation to attend. Therefore, he willingly accepted their policies. I went to an all girl high school and a catholic nursing school that only allowed guests in the common areas off the lobby. I have been successfully married for 20 years. The author’s justification for co-ed dorms is rediculous to say the least. My guess is he’s on mommy and daddy’s dime and their choice or he’d have gone somewhere else. Typical.
That’s not really why colleges allow coed living. It isn’t because it works for the students…”works” being based on your motivation. A lot of people leaving home for the first time love the idea of coed housing and will choose a school that allows it, as opposed to a school that doesn’t, so a lot of schools are selling them what they want. Education is big business. For some, education really is about education and knowing that you are both safer from predators (as a girl), but also having less temptation to compromise yourself in areas that could risk so much of what you and your family are investing (time & money)for your future is important. Anyhow, there are plenty of places to study and hang out if that’s really what you want to do. The benefits seem to outweigh the inconveniences. Anyhow, as stated, after freshman year, you can live off campus if you want…with anyone you want…I don’t think there’s a policy about that. Transferring to another school is also an option.
PS: mad because two consenting adults that can’t afford rent can’t have sex in dorm rooms that are often shared with other roommates and often paid for by parents…hmmmm…(head scratch)…
I am a female, and I have recently applied to Flagler and still waiting, but one of the reasons I chose this school is because of the size and that there is no inter-dorm visitation. It makes me feel safer not having guys walking around the girls dorm. At my previous school, one reason I left the dorms was because there would be creepy guys walking through the girls dorms and peeping toms in the bathroom. I really respect that they have this rule, it is a big safety regulation.
hey that’s cool..
you should write about every thing that is not working properly or not in order..
nice post…i would like to know the changes in Flagler College rules and policies (if any).
Finger Lakes Region
Thank you for the articles and the discovery of your institution
Yes, you have to police all the time with students.
Yes it’s really. Good post, thanks for the informations.
hey that is so cool…i loved your post.
Poker News
Though I have never attended Flagler, my daughter will be attending in Aug 2011. One of the many reasons we as a family chose this beautiful college , were the values and ethics that are in place. I attended Cottey College, which is an all girls college in Nevada, Mo. We were allowed to have “boys” in our suite once a week. We had a common living area ,where we could have visitors. But no boys in our rooms. It’s very hard on your roommate when there are guys in a shared place. Meet other places, use your imagination and for goodness sake go outside! Live life to it’s fullest , taking every chance you get to try something new and different. Flagler is the place to do that, don’t tie yourself down with heavy relationships with guys when your just learning to fly and spreading your wings! I wish all of you students, peace, love and laughter!
A Goofy Mom
I don’t understand how you are posting an opinon format on the gargoyle. Shouldn’t you report facts of what it gcan do to the students without the intervisitation, studies show blah blah blah? Plus, these former students are right. If you have a problem with this “issue” transfer. You could go to UF where the drinking and partying are and where that 18 year old UF student was shot due to the drinking/partying. I plan on attending Flagler in 3 years after I graduate from high school. I was thrilled when I read that this focuses on studies and doesn’t have the intervisitation. It was unlike UF and made me feel a little safer. Its a wonderful school, beautiful and historic. Sure, everyone needs a social life, right? Well then take some people at the school you have a lotgin common with (guys or girls) and go through St George street. I still love that school and hope I can go there in a few years.
hi
I’m pretty sure if you were to interview the proper people, you will most likely find that this rule was imposed by the city of St. Augustine when they agreed to allow the historical Ponce De Leon hotel to be converted into a college. The city did not want to have a loud, roudy school right in the middle of their historic city and no interdorm visitation or drinking were ways they felt they could keep things quieter and more under control. Bill Abare had nothing to do with imposing these rules, they have been in existence from the beginning. It’s what makes this school differnt from any other. I for one am grateful that they agreed to the terms, as it was some of the best years of my life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I think it is one of the most beautiful campuses in existence and if you are in need of coexisting and drinking, you can do that off of the school grounds. You don’t have to live in the dorms to attend this amazing school. So move on from the trashing of this special institution and if you don’t like it, there are so many other schools that allow everything and anything. Maybe it’s time to transfer.
In the event that inter-dorm visitation is granted, all they have to do is restrict the visiting hours to reasonable times and even just certain days. It’s a perfect compromise!
I remember that it was a minor inconvenience, but actually helped let the guys have a zone where we could just be guys. No pretense, just a great place to hang out, and no big personality that guys tend to put up on front of the ladies. I liked that honesty zone. It also allowed us to have a boundary that forced us to respect the ladies space. The girls dorms were off limits, and you could tell who had problems with boundaries by who would try and disrespect them. I don’t see an issue with having a few boundaries in life.
On a side note, I’m surprised to see this article at all posted by Gargoyle on Twitter. Is it an opinion piece, because it was so full of broad generalizations and easy justifications that I was a bit surprised. Not one fact, and no attempt to see both sides of the issue before making a conclusion. What’s up?
The no-interdorm visitation rule was one of the primary reasons I chose Flagler over similar schools. I had heard horror stories from my mother, aunts, and older friends about their times in college (and their roommates’ good times) to know that I did not want to have to deal with that.
As it turns out, it was a great thing. My freshman roommates and I got along great. However, two of us hated the third’s new boyfriend, and it would have destroyed the harmony we had created to say “Sorry, no boys in the room” to keep him out. Thanks to the visitation rules, we all lived together in perfect bliss until we graduated, and we’re still as close as we were back then.
Furthermore, I’ve caught tourists trying to get into Ponce, and while I might not have said anything about the young woman wearing a fanny pack and visor (sometimes kids wear weird clothes), the guy with her was the major clue that they were not supposed to be going into the dorms. Interdorm visitation would have made it difficult for me to tell the difference between this tourist couple and a some wacky kids looking to play Katamari Damacy or whathaveyou after a midterm.
Flagler has one of the lowest incident rates of sexual assault and one of the highest grad rates. No incidents of drunks imposing upon the opposite sex in their own rooms.No incidents of girls locked out of their own rooms because their roomie’s boyfriend is ‘in’.
Most of these complaints are from self-serving boys who wish to deny females any place of respite from constant sexual advances. Get a room. And learn to pick up after your lazy narcissistic self.
Flagler Admin: Perhaps narcotics dogs could take an occasional tour of your boys dorms.
I am a female that graduated in 2003. One of the reasons I choose Flagler was because of the no inter dorm visitation policy. Students know the policy before the attend. If someone has a huge issue with it they could just pick a different school. This is not an uncommon practice.
While I am just as frustrated as the next student, I feel like the arguments in this article are hurting and not helping our cause. I really don’t think they don’t trust the students around each other–it’s more contingent upon the financial backing the school/business we attend is receiving. Also, while I agree that living with the opposite gender can be helpful the examples of behavior by men and women given are stereotypical and probably moderately offensive to some. Anyway, the rules are going to change, just not while Abare is around. Probably right after would be my guess.