Back fat and an old lady knee – now that’s the new hotness

It’s official. I’m old. Well, my left leg is anyway. The actual age of my knee is 26, but lately it has felt like it’s around 90. And today I had to go to the doctor to look at said knee, which has plagued me for nine years.

The good news is, I am still able to run, but trying to explain about how I hurt my knee in the first place has always been a bit interesting. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Me: “Yeah, I dislocated my knee a few years ago, so it’s not in the best of shape.”

Concerned Friend: “Really? What happened?”

Me: “Oh, I stood up.”

CF: “Seriously?”

Me: “Seriously.”

Some people have interesting stories about how they had a 350-pound guy slam into their leg, or how they were trying to outrun hyenas in the Serengeti to explain their injury. Me, I stood up in a high school auditorium and my leg went out from underneath me.

If you’re wondering how that feels, I liken it to someone taking a baseball bat to your leg.

But I digress. It’s been almost nine years. Why hasn’t my knee healed yet? Honestly, it’s probably because I have been inactive for at least seven of those nine years. And all of the running I have been attempting lately has strengthened my leg, while simultaneously making my knee scream, “Wait for me!”

Earlier this week, I had the knee pain of an 85-year-old woman with arthritis shooting up my leg, so I ended up walking instead of running. It was actually quite scary. And since I’d really rather not go through the pain of an out of place knee cap again, I broke down and had my doctor advise me on what to do next. Basically, I’m in better shape than I thought and I got a really fashionable Neoprene brace for my knee.

Good thing too, because I’ve got to keep moving so I can get in shape. And let’s face it, “Baby got back fat” just doesn’t sound that attractive.

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